Living with a Heart of Forgiveness

It was once said that “He who cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass.” Forgiving those who have hurt or offended us is a tough challenge. The key is to cultivate a heart that carries with it a reservoir of forgiveness. We are exhorted by God to forgive:

“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Colossians 3:13)

Focus on how much you have been forgiven
Think on how much God has forgiven you, and little we have done to deserve His forgiveness. Meditating on God’s mercy towards us helps us nurture mercy towards others.

Learn to forget
Sometimes the biggest hindrance to forgiving is that we continue to remember the offense and therefore we keep it alive, even if we have purposed in our heart to forgive. Forgetting is a choice. Every time we begin to replay the hurt or the offense in our minds we stir up the pain again. So actively seek to think or meditate on something else - read the Bible, listen to worship music. Train your mind to not dwell on the hurt, intentionally train your mind to disregard the offense.

Trust God
Know in your spirit that God is just. Our God loves justice, and we need to leave it to Him to make everything right (See Isaiah 61:7-8). It is not up to us to meter judgment on the person who has hurt us.

Push past your feelings
Our soul will want to remind us of the hurt and injustice that we have suffered through our emotions – through anger, bitterness and frustration. We cannot allow ourselves to follow our feelings. We need to push past these feelings and let them go.

Refuse to keep score
Don’t keep track of how many times a person has offended, hurt or let you down. The Bible says that we are not to keep a record of wrong (1 Corinthians 13:5).

Bless your enemies
Pray for those who have hurt you. Speak well of them and look for ways to do good things for them. Don’t talk unkindly or gossip about them. Blessing our enemies brings us healing. It is hard to stay angry at a person that you are endeavouring to bless at the same time. It is the opposite response to what the enemy wants and it enables God to use the situation for our good.